Think i am starting to understand the true meaning of RE-search. RE and RE and RE repeat n repeat n repeat n u still might not get what u want. search and search until u lose urself and 'a life'

there's SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG with the BRAINs of those ppl planning our timetable. THREE labs for a yr4 sem2, with ONLY two 4 hour breaks and 1 morning to do fyp for the entire wk? WTF they expect us to do our FYP from 6pm to 6am and on sat n sunday?! WAD KIND OF STUPID COURSE IS THIS. HELLO its Graduating Sem alr. n there's interviews to go for etc. WTF WTF. AND WHY some ppl from other schools/courses can get one whole sem jus to do their fyp while we have to slog like this?

- angry n whines and whines and refuse to go to lab on a sun when u're alr working full time from mon to sat -

-TMD i feel so weak and fed up -

Just watched Devil Wears Prada. 2nd time. 1st time was on the flight to japan if i din rem wrongly. Love feel-good movies. Cliche it may sounds, but i m kinda inspired by the movie. Give the best u can at wadever u are doing now, even tho it may end up as a wild goose chase.. cox its only at the end of it when u have achieved sth then u will realise what u really want and sometimes gd things still can come out the seemingly time wasting chase.

Had quite a fruitful wkend. Proud that i got a gd western blot n film on my own for my fyp! ran 8K, and did some solid work for PT. hopefully its solid.

I have been eating lunch for so many times of the wk and doing things on my own so often that i m amazed by myself.

好累哦。可是就是想任性地发呆。明明脑袋很需要休息但是偏偏让它无味地加班。

我喜欢陈绮贞的歌词。就喜欢一些好象看得懂却其实不是很了解的字句。但又却好像能从中领悟到一些道理。


SELF
（华丽的冒险）陈绮贞

几次悔过

掩埋狂妄的恶魔

感觉却好像毁弃善良的自我

几次脆弱掩饰

不甘的示弱

[这就是我]

再说

我也不特别渴求永久

其实我也无法忠于单一感受

静止了沉溺了

无声的灭绝

晕眩

是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼

是我招唤你眼底的错觉

就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言

拥抱瞬间

是我用真实的编造了谎言

也是我用残破的猜测这世界

就让我回应你已失序的狂野

虚伪瞬间

是我

几次悔过

掩埋狂妄的恶魔

这感觉却好像毁弃了善良的自我

静止了沉溺了

无声的灭绝

退怯

是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼

是我招唤你眼底的错觉

就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言

拥抱瞬间

是我用真实的编造了谎言

就算我用残破的猜测这世界

再一次回应你已失序的狂野

我们表演

music

是我用真实的编造了谎言

就算我用残破的证实这世界

再一次让我尝靖错的甜美

甜美瞬间

是你带我经过纯洁的瞬间

无悔无邪

3 more mins to end of 090909. jus felt like blogging on this date.

Lab work been fun.. and i really like the environment at bti.. but really tiring esp when there's still so much other stuff to do.. waking up at 6+ everyday is no joke.

I jus found out that my main supervisor is a Taiwanese, haha. the 1st day i met him he alr speak to me in chinese.. other than the technical terms la. thank god. I think i had gd training in taiwan alr HAhaha. And my the other supervisor the one whom i see almost everyday n teaching me all the lab techniques is a malaysian. And we converse in English, mandarin and canto. lol. And he is super super thrifty n really tries very hard to save taxpayer's money by helping Astar to save money tho everyone else there is wasting all the disposables like mad. And he always ask me whther i know how to write the word 穷 when i laugh at how he tries to save. but its gd la.. haha. And i got a shock on sat when he told me the cost of one small bottle of the transfecting chemical to transfect the cells.. like close to 800+ bucks.. i suddenly realised that how much money this project cost n in a way thankful that i dun have a budget problem at all.. opps..

A post written last night on the plane..

04 Aug 2009, 0000hrs..
Cough cough… =( been 3 wks. Gosh. Coughing jus makes u breathless n tired. Haha I jus needed to complain.

On my way back to our own sunny island where we call home, where my comfy bed is, and where I can go visit my gp n cure my cough. Lol. And jiawei is beside me blogging on her omnia as well. Stupid jetstar flight was delayed for almost 3 hrs and we spent most of the time we rotting at the starbucks. And I jus finished scanning thru the fyp topics for the past 2 hrs of the flight and dozin off countless times intermittently.

Past one month in Taiwan has been gd n I m really thankful for a lot a lot of things. For jiawei my dear classmate who has been a great travel companion and btw has the nick name of queen mother and msn/fb addict (LOL), for the wonderful Taiwanese host and friends for their great hospitality and help, for the amazing SEP students I have met who were great fun and company, for the wonderful ppl I have met in the pharmacy, for the miraculously good luck that was bestowed to us during many many incidences in our trip (e.g. not having booked accommodation when we reached taidung at 12 midnight and we jus randomly asked a group of Taiwanese where they were staying for the night and wola we got a perfect 民宿 to spend the night at), for the good n freaking hot weather almost 35, 36 deg everyday w/o any typhoon, and I dunno wad else but there are jus too many amazing incidents. Though it is already my 4th time in Taiwan, there are still new experiences n lessons to be learnt.

Been to green island (which was really really fabulous, scooter-ing around the island with the great sun, vvvvvvv blue sea and really breathtaking scenery, and the snorkeling etc) and also kenting n Kaohsiung, of course not forgetting the company of chernyih for 1 wk plus, which made our trip more interesting and fun filled.

I have come to realized that I enjoy staying abroad, other than the fact that when you fall sick. As in I dun really get home sick, and I kinda enjoy the freedom of experiencing new culture n new things. But I have to say that perhaps Taiwan is still rather similar to sgpore in many ways, so it was quite easy to adapt and my Chinese was quite sufficient for me to get around. And I think I have learnt to be more patient towards others as well, for you never know when you will need their help esp when you’re alone aborad. And sometimes, just by opening you mouth and asking, you will be surprised by how ppl are actually willing to help and the many many doors that you can open and the limitless possibilities that you are really thankful for and bewildered at the end of the trip.

Was really a fruitful SEP trip and I m really thankful to have such an opportunity. Really memorable trip. Ok I should get some rest n hopefully by the next blog entry my cough would have recovered=)

No work today due to the external audit the hospital is having today. so they shooed me away. But i still woke up to attend the infectious disease combined meeting from 8 to 9 by 猴子学姐 lol. Then went to have breakfast n saw the partial solar eclipse which happened to be the darkest at ard 9.40pm.. many passerbys were taking out their camera but i din bring mine out. haha but then still quite cool to catch one. like 难得 got the 闲情逸致 to see it.. in sgpore probably most ppl can't b bothered.. N i m still wondering wad to do w this free day..

Taiwan has been fun so far..I m too lazy to update. Went to climb elephant hill last nite which was near our school and man the night view was really good. perfect spot to capture 101 and also to partor o.O haha. And we went abit carzy n high on the road doing the YMCA moves along the road outside ppl's house. thanks to the hyper suzan jiawei's new found love/rm mate. haha watch for the video in fb later.

Still having the irritating cough which i am still getting at bedtime. it gets so bad right b4 i sleep that i take like almost an hour to fall asleep every night for the past few days while i m perfectly alright in the day. been a week plus n i reckon that it is probably bronchitis alr. I wanted to see the doctor alr to get antibiotics but this coummunity pharmacist was like why dun i jus sell u some. o.O haha. so i just bought the one tt my GP in sg always gives me. crossing fingers hoping tt i will b ok by the wkend.

Somehow i like doing the laundry as well. haha weird.

And its weird that I dun exactly miss home. haha. but of cox there are ppl to b missed. hahaha.

going to kaohsiung n kenting over the wkend!

attachmt here so so bah i guess. Ward rounds w the ID doctor was rather interesting.. tho i think my antibiotics and microB is really not up to it.

Pseudomonas aeruginosa - 绿毒杆菌
S。Aureus- 金黄色球菌

Thank god their case notes are in english.. but when they discuss about cases they converse in mandarin. haha.

walking ard the hospital in white coat with jeans n sneakers are cool. haha tts wad the pharmacists and even some doctors wear in the hospital.

hee everyday is a friday in taiwan. LOL.

I am back, but will b gone again in no time.

Preceptorship was good. much beter than last yr. And i m sure I'll be doing hospital for my prereg.

Had a good 1 week break after preceptorship though I was runing all over the place settling visa/rpts/blah. Also met up, caught up and got caught =)

Will try to update from tw =)

-h1n1 stay away from me n my loved ones-

又过了一个周末。

Sometimes i find myself staring at the blank blogger screen for ages, or typing and cancelling over and over again.

I think I am having increasing difficulty in expressing myself. things that are too complicated to talk about, things that are jus too controversial, things that are too incomprehenable, things that are simply out of this world to some ppl. its frustrating to have a blog and yet u can't speak ur mind when u need an outlet.

and it makes me wonder the very aim of existence of this blog. I mean this is certainly not the 1st time such a feeling strikes upon me. And many out there have finally decided to leave their blogs with a final entry n tts it gd bye. I dunno if I am ready to do jus that. this blog holds too many memories. Jus look at the archives. its OMFG since 2003.

I'll b back when i feel like it. It maybe tmr, a month later or wadsoever. haz. But it should b here to stay.

-hush hush-
-dun ask-

Finally booked our tix. 400+ for tw. Quite a rip off but at least we're on our way there now and we jus found out that accomodation there is free!

Watched all the kiddish comedies including nite at musuem2, monsters vs aliens and I think they are all great laughs and better than i expected! go watch it if u haven.

如果可以不把情绪挂在脸上，那该多好。真不知道有些人是怎样办到的。佩服佩服。

-Hush Hush-

2 wks of OP rotation is finally over! k la it wasn't as bad as i thot but it was really significantly more tiring esp this wk considering the physical tiredness of packing and copying the daily assignments plus going home to prepare for discussions every alternate day and finishing up my soaps n prescriptions which is still undone. But despite all the buzz and shagness i think its quite a purposeful life and it feels good somehow to b learning new stuff or reinforcing the stuff tt we learnt. its quite amazing tt i dun dread going to work, which was very different from what i felt during the retail attachment last yr. N u get inspired by pharmacist tt are so zai tt u wan to be u their position someday. 2 more weeks left... time really flies n i think somehow i may miss working there! haha maybe i m mad. but there's always tw to look forward to!

its the boring wkend again. n jiawei u owe me n sean drinks.

The ending of grey's season 5 was horrible. horrible. Why do they have to write such tragic endings for those ppl who may be leaving the cast.

Its the end. I told you so. And i did not screw the DNR like they did.

Met up with some classmates over dinner at shokudo bazaar place and drinks at paulaner jus now. Nice catching up n hearing stories from them from diff hospitals. haha 1st time gatecrashing their gang for outing. but we still lack representative from SGH n NUH! ahaha.

the vocals at paulaner was good but no live drumset! only guitarist! no drumset makes the songs incomplete n sound hollow even though the vocals are damn gd. And the songs were kinda a tad slower compared to timbre substation. I think i still prefer timbre.. timbre shld jus poach their singers over than it will b perfect.

Life n death in the hospital is common but still kinda disturbing. Happened to b in the wards for 2 consec days when some1 passed away.. n today there was this patient moaning n yelling in pain for like so long during some procedure while we were having our discussion at the nurse station.. n yup eevryone seemed numb to it. its kinda sad. that numb feeling to life n death, ppl suffering, i dunno jus sudddenly feel that eventually we will be some unfeeling robots going abt jus doing our job n ya u know wad i mean. Maybe i wil be some unfeeling robot someday too. But i think these 2 weeks at the wards was really fruitful n interesting n I think i will enjoy being an ward pharmacist though the work is tough n tedious. But prob just for a few years i will move on.. see how.. nxt mon OP. Packing machine here we're gonna transform.

Last day of work for the week tmr! finally. Actually hospital attachment so far hasn't been too bad. jus abit tired but probably not as tired as those at OP. Been quite fun and interesting and really learnt alot. Everything from pharmpract, law, pharmaco1&2 n PT is jus haunting u non stop. And its fun moving ard the wards n looking at the case notes but half the time dunno wad is going on, watching them dispense n being questioned(tts if we know the answers) haha n having really intriguing discussions. I think i like working the hospital.. for now... but lots of reading up to do also.. hope my enthusiasm can last..

Went to the ICU and HD wards today. the feeling was really different form the last time i was there. And its weird. I mean i feel that I am abit cold blooded in a way. Like we can still joke about this unknown indian man who has no name n like so sick in the ICU. Like kinda getting abit numbed to seeing so many patients with so many conditions. Tts probably jus part of getting used to the job bah.

And i was laughed at for not being able to pronounce escitolapram today as in i really broke up the parts like es-ci-to-la-pram really vividly. then the pharmacist laughed relly loud n still ask her colleagues to guess wad drug is tt. HAha bish. but ok la. She's been a nice n gd teacher for the day. shall not bear grudge on acct of that!

I slept like 9 hrs straight from 2 am to 11pm.. wah tts damn amazing. Haven had undisturbed sleep for so long in a very long time! haha. the temp job i have found was canceled as now they dun need ppl to take temperature le (some admin job at SIM) and just nice our preceptorship has resumed. Yays.

Time passes so fast when u're idling n having fun. Its friday alr.. n Mon work starts!

Haha i think i need a break from alcohol n clubbing. Not that i drink or club alot anyway! No worries its not u gals faults. I am jus getting abit old. I still like te music n company =) I wan to sing K and mahjong tho!!

I CAN'T DRINK.
That was the conclusion i got. Was damn sian yesterday. I didn't even feel very high and wasn't gibberish or shouting or wadsoever. I jus suddenly had a visual blackout and I can't see for nuts like all of the sudden in the dancefloor 1 hour after sharing the 2 jugs of long island. So little rite. I freaked out and jiawei had to drag me out of zouk. I totally couldn't see where i was walking including ppl n steps. I didn't even have the pukey feeling until i forced myself to puke. Then i had no more mood to club so i decided not to spoil the fun for the rest n cabbed home. Then when i reached home, I realised my bag was still at the baggage counter n i did not have keys to my house. Then i had to wake my parents up to open the door for me.. haha they didn't scold me n my mum just said serves u rite this morning. She say u shld experience how horrible it is to be drunk then nxt time u woun drink so much. The problem was I didn't even felt like i was drunk. But then n again, now really got abit of phobia liao. Damn sian.

Escapism is... falling asleep in front of your biotech notes when u already had 2 cups of coffee within a few hours. Nonetheless, I am really thankful for the discovery of caffeine.

-Mug ur ass off ppl-

2009陈绮贞-太阳新加坡演唱会

虽然没有缭眼的舞蹈，也没有特别嘉宾，但陈绮贞动人，几乎无暇的嗓子，摇滚吉他的功力和真诚热情的心，足已值回票价。让我想一想和还是会寂寞rocks the night.

跑了全场两圈和观众近距离互动，上了两次的深降级：一次左边一次右边，从天而降的亲笔鼓励字条，Encore了好几次到1130..真的是一个诚意一百分的演唱会。

还好有encore，因为她唱了很多之前没唱的歌但是我超想听的。太聪明，九份的咖啡店，会不会，告诉我，After17..

看了这场演唱会，我更加爱上陈琦贞了。下次一定会再去。

3 day work week is here! Damn shiok. Going to watch movie tmr n sing k on thurs! Tho our dear eli has the brilliant idea of giving a maybe openbk or maybe mcq or maybe open ended or maybe combined test.

Fri sushi session at amk suki sushi was gd. 7 of us had 63 plates of sushi, with 2 of them (declined to be named) finishing most of it. And finally tried the alcoholic icecream at udders! Baileys, Rum n Raisin, Orange choc plus this snickers+mars+vanila butterscotch was yummy. They had this mao shan wang durian flavour too. must try nxt time. Everyone shld go try! its at novena/near UE sq opp starbucks.

I dun think i wan to be a quality analyst in the industry.. i still wan to get to apply all the clinical knowledge dun really wan to throw them away. And its damn exciting to hear my senior getting the dream job tt i wan. or sth tt i think i will like.