Decided to stop mugging for the day since its getting quite late� promised myself to sleep early but ended up blogging... I realized that sufficient rest is really impt for me... if not I will be damn grouchy and sian for the whole of next day and sometimes even makes me feel depressed and dun feel like talking to anyone at all... or I will be damn clumsy and blur... like PE on the other day... I wonder how some ppl can still look so bubbly and energetic and show no signs of panda eyes though they only slept for a few hours...

Went for national day preview on sat... was quite surprised when sengwei called and asked whether I want to go when he had extra tickets... anyway I went with his two classmates and one other guy which is one of his classmates BF� I know none of them anyway�fortunately they were quite easy going so I didn�t feel very awkward... the ndp was quite impressive and interesting� stefanie sun didn�t turn up for this preview! *Disappointed* and guess who replaced her... Fiona xie... =( she was practically screeching and shrieking when she tried to pitch high notes� the pre-parade was just some emcees Sharon au gurmit jean danker blah� going around trying to hype up the crowd with some cheers, kallang waves, blar� there was this �Singapore chant� that we were suppose to shout, it goes like �One People, One Nation, One Singapore�.. I find it rather amusing and dumb when they flashed these words across the gigantic screen at the stadium... hahha... nevertheless I found myself shouting it towards the end of the show� hahahha...

The parade was quite standard la�some new pattern or formation here and there� during the mass display show after the parade� they kept screening videos of the PM and SM Lee delivering speeches bout how we managed to stand together and braved through the SARs thingy n etc. hmm one thing about attending ndps is that when u re at the stadium you would suddenly feel damn patriotic.. The same feeling I had the other time when I was one of the participants... the spirit was damn high� for a moment u feel that we Singaporeans are really united� it makes one ponder whether we will really be that united when crisis of a much larger scale like a war strikes Singapore... whether we really have so much love for our country, whether we are willing to sacrifice or even die for Singapore... for one thing I was sure is that I really loved Singapore that night� hahaha... sang all the songs damn loudly�

I think is much better to watch the mass display home coz we can get a helicopter�s view of the field just by sitting in front of the TV� I couldn�t really figure out the patterns that they were forming... coz I wasn�t sitting at the grand stand�so the orientation isn�t really rite� nevertheless� the fireworks never disappoint us� so spectacular� real awesome and B-E-A-Utiful� it was soooo damn near� they even gave some of us umbrellas coz the ashes mite land on us� and indeed they were quite bit raining down... bit eeks but the fireworks were just too nice that we ignored those stuff�

Oh the goodie bag is quite nice too� a lot of stuff inside more than wad I expected� the design of the bag is quite nice too... surprisingly... not obiang at all...

Yikes... I didn�t do any tut at all this weekend� only managed to revise bit of math and physics� dunno whether this is the right thing to do also... heck� Tues still got bio option test... arghz... k I better go sleep now wait tmr I feel damn sianz again

Finally after so many days.. i feel much better today... real bad gastric flu manz.. as i was telling ruth and zixuan durin phy lect that day.. it was not the diarhhea that made me feel sick but the cramps n contractions.... of the intestines... den they immediately bursted out laughing like mad coz they thot i sounded like u-know-what (girls will know)... aiya... how i know the words that i use would fit the direct desciprtion of that thing...hiyoz... ayez...quite funny... but the pain really not funny...

didn't go for organice chem lect tho i bought the notes... so dumb... i didn't feel like waking up la.. coz it was raining non stop in the morning... so nice to sleep.... nvm la mon den copy..

rgh i can't believe i falied my GP compre! 1st time in a blk test... i thot the compre was easy...shucks...hven get to see it as i came late on fri hope my essay will be fine man.. other subjs... i scrapped an E for both chem n phy.. quite lucky... but not very encouraging of coz...not pending much hopes on bio either...

oh ya both guitar and string got gold! woW! and CO got top in SYf too... if only our track n field was better... i was still hoping that we can get half or full day off... ayez...haha

Dunno why I suddenly had the urge to blog.. when I actually dunno wad to blog or dun have much to say..

Had a terrible stomachache this morning.. and its still making me feel super uncomfortable now.. really didn�t feel like going to school today� but still I rushed down to school in a cab this morning .. ayez I reckoned its becoz of all the rubbish I ate last weekend.. went swensens on fri. den sat I ate satay beehoon, curry chicken, ice kachang. Ice blended coffee� den sun ate lots of junk food�plus cookies n cream freeze� blarz� I can imagine all these stuff churning in my stomach and intestines lor� hope it will be better tmr�

Tmr�s string syf� go huiyu u can do it! Weds guitar.. jiayou suyi willz yf & yiting! Bring back the golds! =) weds got band syf finals at esplanade also� but I am not going la�

Dunno why I feel quite numb these days.. not physically I mean�is like I dun feel happy.. neither am I depressed� like reached stage of equilibrium.. hahaha my chem sux.. but I do feel calm and peaceful.. not so excitable I guess.. dunno if it is a good thing.. the good thing is that I dun feel so restless la.. but will still feel tired every now n den.. aiya I also dunno wad I talking liaoz..

Drew up my revision schedule.. looks mad� real mission impossible.. k will try to pia la�

Block tests results haven been exactly encouraging.. except for maths la.. got a B! =) I expected an A actually.. but nvm la.. I think its quite an achievement liaoz.. the rest of sciences�really cmi.. failed my chem structured, phy mcq� wad more can I say.. just hope for the best lor� prob now is the hope that our As will come in prelims(though I doubt it) and A level(must come by then) that keeps us going..

Many ppl have been asking me wad I intend to study after As.. but I haven really made up my mind� medicine has always been interesting to me.. but I m not sure if I can cope or I really want such a hectic lifestyle as a doctor� really no time to enjoy one.. I m not sure if I have such deep passion that allows me to sacrifice my time n etc.. n studying medicine is expensive too.. considering I m not very well off� I dowan to spend away all my parent�s money.. moreover my parents objects me taking medicine.. say its too stressful n a dumb choice.. so I also dunnoe.. decide den la.. ayez
Well gtg�

You are Proverbs.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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i look like a cooked lobster now manz....*ouCh*.. dio sunburnt after a swimz... aiyoZ...but my relatives say i look nicer n healthier...hhahahha...

hve not seen my cousins for a long time until todayz... coz today my family gathered to have a feast at marina south...some long beach dunno wad restaurant situated at the end of the whole stretch of shops n restaurants....grandma's birthday... wah the seafood was real fresh!! yumZ yumZ manz.. i haven ate so much for some time =P... still feeling bloated now...

my cousin dio sispec course... he's like sooooooooooooooo extremely skinny now lor....iyoz...real bad lor...i see liao i also feel sad...not to mention how xin tong my auntie n uncle is... i really dowan to become lydat manz.. see him until i start to feel scare bout NS also.. but he kept assuring me it should be fine... n he said BMT is fun...just he sway kena sispec and horrible ex commando instrcutor..so he v jialat... hiyoZ jiayou jiayou manz... so far all my seniors like quite okie i think... saw kaimun at hc bus stop few days ago...asked him whether school life or NS life is better... n he said both re very stressful...hiyoZ...just diff forms... i planned to slack thru my NS lor.. hahahaha but i think the training does make some people look better la.. so hope NS will be fine and do me good...

anyway...i still got my blk test prelims n As to tackle b4 NS comes...ayeZ suZ... i practically did nothing todayz.. n the worse thing is i dun feel sinful or anything wrong about it... though i worry about not being able to pass my blk test lor... shucks leh... i think is becoz i have lowered my aim for this blk test... from getting quality grades to just aimming to pass... which is very bAd lor... coz the risk of failing is higher lydat... it is impossible to finish revising evrything lor...n sometimes i find it dumb to stress myself over it...but still.....muSt BUCk uP mAnz...anyway lastt week le... shld have the urgency liao...so i shall not waste anymore time here...

hey hey here i am blogging.. currently at the library...slacking...huh wad else =P...going home soon i think. in a very crappy mood..shux i think i confirm cannot finish evision one lor n there's no use getting depressed becoz of it... just have to try me best not to slack n finish wadever i can.. lalala

had band farewell on tues.. was quite fun la.. better than wad i had expected.. played silly games like throwing waterbombs and some lame obstacle course...which got us all wet but at least not muddy... spent 8 bucks on a pe shorts lor...wad duhz...who ask me forgot to bring..had a simple and super crappy session similar to like"investiture" or "handing over ceremony" before the games too... ayez time flies man... was quite surprised by my juniors who made an effort to buy and/or make us some stuff... hahaha i thot they would sure heck and woun bother abt doing that... quite sweet of them...

got this nemo shirt from huiyu.. prob becoz i helped her play in her concert... so nice and sweet of her..coz in fact i din do much lor... thanks! =)

actually i really feel pointless about bloging... coz i have been writing my own diary as in really write in a book la.. den i write alot of stuff which i never post here.. is either i dun want or i dun dare to post it here... so ayez... mite not be blogging very often liaoz...

getting real bored...dun feel like typing much also... hhaha...movie finding nemo great.. so cute=) stole some of these tests from my senior's blog..



You excel at Transfiguration. One of the most
dificult classes, you seem to be a natural at
turning a coke bottle into a homework pass.


Which Class at Hogwarts Would You Excel at?
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Middle-aged. You'll die from something unexpected,
just when your kids are going to college or
something great is happening. Cause Unknown.


At what age will you die?
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WoAhZ I finally decided to have an entry..*clapz clapz* argh blk test two is soo near n for the past few days i haven really been mugging.. except for trying to finish those physics remedial mcqs� haven even came up with any stardee plan. think for a start I shall at least start listing down all the topics I need to study for all subjects.

Wanted to go band chalet today one coz kinda enjoyed myself durin sentosa�s band chalet last year and moreover its like one of the last band gathering b4 the horrors of exams set in.. but dunno why when I reached school today became abit sian tiao.. and became not v enthu liao� maybe overwhelmed by the fact that we have so much work to do again�den originally arranged with dennis to go with him one den he also sian tiao den told me he dowan to go.. den my section like no one going(anti social as usual) den wait I go there myself so weird or rather wait go there I feel so sian or have the awkward feeling n feeling of being left out again� so here I am at home hahaha..

Had fun yesterday though.. hAd sec4 class gathering.. as usual me n kenvin had to do the job of calling everyone up..hahaha.. was abit disappointed at first coz quite lot ppl last min tell me cannot come� aiyoz.. so forever left with the more enthu half of the class ppl coming only.. went seoul garden.. so exp� maybe can go marina south next time. Think both are about the same its just the air conditioning that made the difference. think most of us looked quite the same.. think coz we see each other quite often la.. the most is half a year nv meet.. crappedz lot as usual.. den walked around at orchard until 10+ den we decided to go play pool� I think I played like shit la.. too long nv touch the cue stick.. skills getting super rusty.. reached home at 12+ hahaha

Was talking to my ex form teacher den he was telling us that the sec4s now re having lessons from 8 to 3 every mon weds fri thru out the whole june vacation..ithink.. he said it was the new principal�s brilliant idea..kaoz�.that�s really crazy lor.. more lessons # better results wort.. I really pity them.. =P.. heard cath high�s estimated ranking is gonna be 19 this year� so the drop its not as bad as we have previously been worrying about� ayez..

Went soiree last fri.. the turn out wasn�t as bad as wad chek or kc had been telling me.. like only 200+ tix sold few days b4 the concert? wad rubbish... The audit was relatively packed except for the back corner sector seats.. i went in late n couldn't find seats.. the standard of the performance was in fact reasonably good...not as horrible as wad they described last year? Didn�t regret coming just because I wanted to support my friends..coz the whole concert was quite nice.. theres this guy that played n sang his self composed song.. wahz he�s really good� although its another one of those mellow love songs that are sought after n heavily commercialized nowadays.. his talent n ability to compose such a nice song that captivated many audience really was quite nan de.. hmm got potential manz.. my classmates played quite nicely too.. will n yf looked quite beng haha� the rock band performance by keeyeh dennis mingzhen n xianwei was superb too� I preferred the second song to the first tho they used the first song as their talenttime entry.. both songs were self composed.. quite wasted they din get into the finals.. it wasn�t really a �rock� performance la.. but they sounded quite good� hahah din know that dennis n keeyeh could sing quite well..hahaha

Argh I want to go ktv� but no time!! N I am broke!

I am playing triangle for inspirationS!! I think so if nothing goes wrong.. Hahaha so weird� hope its fun n easy so I woun be nervous on stage.. so why did I buy the tix for.. should just huiyu let me go watch free concert hahaha

Just talked on the phone with cheowz for like almost for a hour� n most of the time he went on and on regarding his prob with this girl.. somehow he gets getting into uncalled for relationships problems all the time nowadays.. n keep associating himself with crazy, immature, childish girls who have the looks I guess� aiyoz� I think I cn�t help him much coz firstly I really dun really have much experience on such stuff n I myself also at a loss regarding such problems.. even up to now� so my approach now is not to dwell or think about it and concentrate on my studies lor.. hope I will not regret anything.. haiz just have to say shun qi zi ran lah

I was quite delighted to receive jingwen�s letter by post today.. wad pleasant surprise� I thot she had forgotten to reply me coz have been waiting for her reply like one month.. have been quite a comfortable n nice experience writing to her.. also can get to know first hand info regarding any junior�s scandals haha� thot got retribution coz I took the �initiative� not to reply to lynn after angel mortal ended on v.day coz I felt quite meaningless to continue writing to her.. its just hard n awkward to write to her.. can�t clique la just have to say.. quite sad la.. coz like now I see her also nv say hie.. maybe bcoz mgs girls are dao? Or I too dao? Dunnoe�

K off to eat supper! N watch wo cai later! N sleep! Great I have not done any work today� hAhaha shucks�

Haven been feeling good the whole of this week... feeling abit depressed + v tired.. watched Bruce Almighty today. I loved it man! It certainly uplifted my spirits quite a lot! I was laughing thruout the whole movie almost from the beginning to the end.. the whole of this week I didn�t really laugh so whole heartedly lor.. and there�s also lesson to be drawn from in this movie.. so felt really good after that. Jim Carey is real hilarious and good man! He�s the best! Theres going to be liar liar this sun on channel i.. think I going to watch it again.. =P Anyone who is reading this n haven caught Bruce Almighty I tell u this is a must-watch movie.. forget about matrix if u�re thinking of catching that first� this is more worth ur money n time =)

Hmmz tmr is the last band pract of this term.. but not our last final band pract coz I think we are forced to play for band fiesta in july.. so band�s not really over yet..

Dun feel like blogging liaoz� mite be going to sleep soon..

If one�s mood or emotion is represented by a sinusoidal curve, den my mood today must be at its peak of minimum point.. felt really horrible today� dowan to say why.. looking forward to school tmr though.. most of the time makes me feel better after lame jokes or pranks from cheery classmates haha� sounds pathetic.. shucks I have tons of uncompleted tutorials tho.. managed to clear my maths discrete tut though =) so quite okie la.. there are so many good shows tonight.. matrix 1, gladiator, etc etc.. think I gonna catch gladiator later..

Regretted taking too little photographs for capriccio� still have like 1 or 2 more pix den the whole film can be send for developing..

Tmr is jingwen�s birthday.. happy birthday to my angel�

Hmm I think I just can�t get enough of fan yi cheng�s piano and chu ci zhi wai.. kept replaying it.. maybe shld go check out his cd..

Looking forward to 4-8 class outing in about two weeks time.. now like nothing to look forward to liao� sianz� hmm maybe soiree and inspirations?.. still contemplating whether to help string play the triangle just for one piece.. like abit duh� hahaha see how..

wow i have not blogged for ages man... listening to the recordings of the pieces that we performed at vch last night...not our live recording la..just the cd version ones.. shucks i dunno why i think i am going to miss having band practs... felt abit sian now that both our concert n syf is over..WadS wrong with me huh =P??! maybe its like nothing to look forward to except to going home everyday to study..now no more excuse liao.. haha i felt weird n in fact abit empty when there isn't pract today.. is not that i am very close with the band ppl..in fact i hardly know them at all and often will feel left out one..only close to my section and few other ppl.. perhaps i miss the music (or some ppl call it noise haha) and my section?

wAhz i realised that i am quite lucky to be able to play in VCH after joining band for only about 1 year.. my band senior was complaining yest.. but i was really super tensed for the 1st two pieces...the 1st one because it was the 1st...the 2nd one coz i always have had problems with that piece...n i abit off in fact yest... haha jingwen said i looked fierce.. lucky thing was that i didn't blush..haha its a good feeling to have classmates n friends supporting.. thanks for coming for those who came..well erm i did have a good time playing the triangle haha..

mr leng was so funny n sporty yest.. could tell that he was quite happy yest.. we helped him celebrated his 34th birthday on stage hahaha.. he's real cute n funny guy..according to the girls..coz many was asking if he's married..lol hahaha he's nice la... he's a good conductor as well.. =) .. I got evryone in my section this puny bottle with a msg inside...den i think accidentally broke one of junior's bottle...so guilty... sorry senghan.. must make up for u next time..arghz my parents were blaming me for not giving them tix to go watch band concert.. ayez its not as if ur son is some bigshot...so i see no point in letting them go..?

watched X men with huiyu and weiping on thurs...think both me n huiyu had half the mind of going home den we just sympathised with weiping coz he was so enthu n eager den nobody else in the class wanted to go with him haha.... mainly becoz he wanted to go town n buy pressie for his band ppl for the concert.. i didn't regret la.. it was a nice show...! glad to watch it b4 it closes.. its real cool better den matrix.. iceman so cool lor.. how i wish i could chill my drinks whenever i want to drink it.. like storm also.. huiyu lost her wallet n only realised it the next day morning.. luckily according to her there wasn't much mooney n impt stuff inside...

had the stupid entrepeneur seminar today..i was dragging myself to school today lor..kept falling asleep during the talk n joaling had to keep reminding me JT is around.. was quite impressed by the last group's presentaation whicih grapped eveyone's attention... their style was pro n comprehensive la.. they won in the end... went to SIM for lunch after that.. den went home n sleep...... wanted to go swimming one coz the wether's perfect for a dip in the pool but i slept thru the afternoon n evening..haha

hmm i replaying the recording again........

watched matrix today with kenvin and kc after band pract.. wondered how come band ended early today at 4 but in the end also delay until 5.. sorry la yiting n the rest i couldn't wait.. i think it takes ages for our class to have an successful class outing.. n the possibilty like not v high.. anyway it was not as "wow" as i thought la... there was lot of talking n i almost fell asleep for at least twice.. but no doubt moves were impressive and stylo.. quite cool..there wasn't much plot development actually i think..but i think its still worth watching la.. ate and crapped + talked alot at the food court after the movie stayed till about 10 den go home..

haha this is not good...

Haven blogged for quite a few days.. hmm let me organise my thoughts first.. had a fun bio pract on wed.. we dissected a rat! hope I am not getting saddistic but I think william is..haha.. Initially I was not exactly positive about it coz had quite an bad experience last time in sec4.. that time during a teacher�s demonstration of rat dissection.. he used a rat that was much more alive lor.. it was still WARM and SOFT as it was not really dead yet but just put to sleep I think�den when he opened it up.. u can really see the heart still beating and slowly getting slower and finally stop as he tried to pried open more parts of it�so cruel!! Fortunately we were given cold and stiff rats that looked n felt vv dead.. I was quite amused about how we made a fuss about selecting the rats we want to dissect.. nobody wanted rats with eyes open and yellowy stuff(shit) at you know where.. haha it was quite interesting la.. me and weiping managed to keep the whole process blood free� unlike william.. which had the rat�s organs bathed in a pool of blood lor.. he even ripped off the head and broke the skull(eekS) and took the brain out.. I was quite surprised when he said he didn�t get any nightmare during these few nights..

Shucks I really think the band is running out of time man� and I really think we dun really sound okie� dunno in time to put up a good performance next Friday or not.. hope we can make it.. I was struggling through my part on weds practice.. I think everyone was lar for that particular piece then I wanted to practice today but too bad the score with my conductor so felt quite boliao to practice for other parts coz they all are practice b4 or quite easy or dumb to practice.. k shall not say too much wait u all dowan to come for concert liao..

Didn�t manage to go out or watch xmen or matrix or ktv on vesak day.. rested at home, watch tv and did some work la� so at least during tutorials today I wasn�t stonning.. it certainly feels good to have done my tuts haha� hope I will switch into mugger mode soon.. like wad yf says �evolved� into super mugger.. but I want to watch matrix first! Haha..

Ayez tmr still got bio lect� still on plants�think I m going to be super sianed or sleepy again.. the good thing is it starts at 8.30 instead of the usual 8am. half an hour more to sleep =P

think i am beginning to like this drama serial call xin xian ren in chU.. it is about mental patients one.. got 3 characters in the show..one has Alzhemiers, one has stealing tendencies and the main character(Stephen Fung) think was like abused when young or have v bad n torturous childhood... den is about wad they experience..their problems, how ppl see them n how their families cope n everything la.. v interesting n v different from those typical chinese drama serials.. think psychatrist really a great job.. can have a chance to understand n help these ppl..but defintely not a easy task..

i think i cannot even finish probability1 today...shucks...argh...

I feel that this is very true of me...or more true..


THE INDIVIDUALIST
Enneagram Type Four

The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
(The Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders)

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"


Profile Summary for the Enneagram Type Four
Healthy: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. / Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong. At Their Best: Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

Average: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination. / To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. / Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.

Unhealthy: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. / Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. / Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely.

Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer".

Got the link from huimin's blog...


Free Enneagram Test

THE HELPER
Enneagram Type Two

The Caring, Interpersonal Type:
Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
(The Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder)

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
Basic Desire: To feel loved
Enneagram Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
Enneagram Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"

Healthy: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere. / Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving � a truly loving person. At Their Best: Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in their lives of others.
Average: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing", becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly. / Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others � wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill. / Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

Unhealthy: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is. / Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors. / Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others.

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

didn't manage to watch Xmen today.. maybe going to give it a miss since matrix is coming out next week. i definately will want to watch matrix first..den no time for xmen liao.. just found out that there will be band pract from mon to thurs next week... yar we having pract on public hol...thats mad lor....gimme a break man! n i feel so dumb today lor..i like nv play anything proper today except for practising the j2 item in the morning.. was slacking or stoning or crapping in the afternoon when the sc nominees conducted the band so that we can select the next batch of SCs.. so sianz...abit regret going band today haha..there wasn't proper practice..feel so fei..k i shall stop complaining..

k i really need to conc and do some serious work tmr.. going out for dinner tmr..eh i din buy anythiing for mother's day..feel bit guilty but i have planned to buy her sth on her birthday(which is like quite soon) that shld be able to make up for this time..

i just realised that i could have spent abt 100 bucks lesser if i bought my hp like one week later...freekO lor.. i shld have have been more patient..

i feel like going ktv again hahaha...

feeling much better and more normal today =) hope wp they all also okie liao..

bought another ji mi's book called yue liang wang ji le.. hahah i read finish even before reaching home.. and i dun really understand haha.. think i will read it again soon..hmm interesting...yf bought the the dunno wad ji mi chang ge n qiuling bought the xiang zuo zou xiang you zou..so can borrow from them =)

co got gold n they got into the finals too =).. so zai! congrats! Pls win NJ!! haha =P can't tahan them liao...got into finals for evrything..choir band n co...
are they really that good? hahaha

k nothing much to talk about..

I realised that most ppl are not as strong as wad ppl percieve and wad they display or have to show..hAiz.. hMMz anyway wasn't feeling good for the whole of today... i dun understand how come it can affect me so much(refering to syf) to the extent that i dun have mood to carry on doing my tutorials though they have piling up like mt everest. been stoning most of the time esp durin tuts today... i feel quite sad even though i m just normal non-key player... i really cannot imagine wad weiping and the other more enthu ppl are going thru.. sianz... ruth was saying choir had their mass crying session yest...hope we woun have anything of that sort man. Hope band will be fun n fine this sat...got elections too..

was really engrossed in this ji mi's book titled di xia tie in school today...thinks really nice.. i bought another of his book named Pourquoi or pu gua shi jie..it did help me feel better after reading that book... it speaks of the wu2 nai4 in life in a very light hearted manner..its one of those books that will leave you a smile after u finish reading it.. think i m going to buy more of this kind of books tmr..hahaha...

hope everything will be fine tmr =)